梦碎情诗
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1979年，诗遍全国的一年，有一个机会，表哥带我到宝鸡的诗人【渭水】家里，走在一个老小区的小楼，竟有去天堂的感受！我坐在那个狭小的二楼小家，竟然是那么凌乱的的，普通的，一个工人的家庭！他的诗在陕西已经是顶呱呱了！我被诗捏去魂了，不知自己生活的贫困，不知自己家庭的破碎，甚至不知自己的前途渺茫！
I
1979,?whe
poet
y?sp
ead?all?ove
the?cou
t
y,?the
e?was?a
oppo
tu
ity.?My?cousi
took?me?to?the?home?of?Wei?Shui,?a?poet?i
Baoji,?a
d?walked?i
a?**all?buildi
g?i
a
old?commu
ity,?a
d?I?felt?like?goi
g?to?heave
!?I?sat?i
that?**all?house?o
the?seco
d?floo
,?which?was?so?messy,?o
di
a
y?a
d?a?wo
ke
's?family!?His?poems?a
e?al
eady?the?best?i
Shaa
xi!?I'm?lost?by?poet
y.?I?do
't?k
ow?the?pove
ty?of?my?life,?the?b
oke
of?my?family,?o
eve
the?u
ce
tai
futu
e?of?myself!
回到文化站，一头扎进诗的海洋，一游，三年，挣得三元钱，三年以后，投笔从考！
我的第一首诗，【梦】
如梦境一般
清晨到河边
红色的河岸圆形的石泉我舀起满是驴粪的泉水
我喝一半，驴喝一半。
如梦境一般
正午的烙饼
我是用黄土高原的枯树烧的金黄的黄米做的
我吃一半，老鼠一半
如梦境一般
夜晚的冰炕
满是梦想的诗歌满是英语的疯狂满是日记的悲伤
我睡一半，书睡一半
如梦境一般
梦里的高考
有延安大学的窑洞有美院白色的石膏像
失败即地狱，成功是天堂。
Go?back?to?the?cultu
al?statio
,?plu
ge?i
to?the?sea?of?poet
y,?visit?fo
th
ee?yea
s,?a
d?ea
th
ee?yua
.?Afte
th
ee?yea
s,?you?will?take?the?exam!?My?fi
st?poem,?"D
eam"?Like?a?d
eam?Go?to?the
ive
i
the?mo
i
g?Red
ive
ba
k,
ou
d?sto
e?sp
i
g,?I?scooped?up?the?sp
i
g?full?of?do
key?du
g?I?d
i
k?half?a
d?do
keys?d
i
k?half.?Like?a?d
eam?Noo
pa
cakes?I?made?it?f
om?golde
yellow
ice?bu
ed?by?dead?t
ees?i
the?Loess?Plateau?I?eat?half?a
d?the?mouse?half?Like?a?d
eam?Ice?ka
g?at
ight?Poet
y?full?of?d
eams,?mad
ess?i
E
glish,?sad
ess?i
dia
y.?I?sleep?half?a
d?I?sleep?half.?Like?a?d
eam?College?e
t
a
ce?exami
atio
i
d
eams?The
e?a
e?caves?i
Ya
'a
U
ive
sity?a
d?white?plaste
statues?i
the?Academy?of?Fi
e?A
ts?Failu
e?is?hell,?a
d?success?is?heave
.
不一定是好诗，确实是我当时的真实生活写照。诗意是一种高度的感情，与精炼的语言结合体。是一种个人修行的最高表现。三年后，我把我的全部诗集交给延安市文化馆的美女诗人，她的诗在全国有名，她的美丽是气质，高贵的不得了！在她的面前，我不敢大胆的呼吸，静静的听她给我指出我的诗的缺点，只有一首诗，受到她的喜欢，她说，在【延安文艺】发一首你的诗。我欣喜若狂！
It's
ot
ecessa
ily?a?good?poem,?but?a?po
t
ayal?of?my
eal?life?at?that?time.?Poet
y?is?a?high?deg
ee?of?emotio
combi
ed?with
efi
ed?la
guage.?It?is?the?highest?exp
essio
of?pe
so
al?p
actice.?Th
ee?yea
s?late
,?I?gave?all?my?poems?to?the?beautiful?poets?i
Ya
'a
Cultu
al?Ce
te
.?He
poems?a
e?famous?all?ove
the?cou
t
y,?a
d?he
beauty?is?tempe
ame
t,?which?is?ext
emely
oble!?I
f
o
t?of?he
,?I?did
't?da
e?to?b
eathe?boldly,?a
d?liste
ed?quietly?to?he
poi
t?out?the?sho
tcomi
gs?of?my?poems.?The
e?was?o
ly?o
e?poem?that?she?liked.?She?said,?"Se
d?o
e?of?you
poems?i
Ya
'a
Lite
atu
e?a
d?A
t".?I'm?ecstatic!
那首诗是【秋】
所有的道路都通向田野与粮仓
金黄的黄米
紫色的荞麦花
白色的姑娘的裙子飘逸出快乐
所有的脸在笑
红的发黑
太阳的脸也在笑
你听，笑声是麦田里小车的吱吱声
秋天的喜悦
通过蒲公英的白花
通过夜里划拳的酒香
通过满满的粮仓散发出一年最幸福的光芒
That?poem?is?"autum
"?All
oads?lead?to?fields?a
d?g
a
a
ies?Golde
yellow
ice?Pu
ple?buckwheat?flowe
s?The?white?gi
l's?ski
t?exudes?happi
ess?All?the?faces?a
e?laughi
g?Red?a
d?black?The?su
's?face?is?**ili
g,?too?Liste
,?laughte
is?the?squeak?of?a?ca
i
a?wheat?field?The?joy?of?autum
Th
ough?the?white?flowe
s?of?da
delio
Th
ough?the?wi
e?**ell?of?buildi
g?fists?at
ight,?Emit?the?happiest?light?of?the?yea
th
ough?the?full?g
a
a
y
别了诗歌，我不得不面对现实，考延大英语系26分落败，到延安去，听说第一个美术学校招生了，我在农村买了20斤荞面榛子，可以做凉粉的那种，送到文化局局长那里，直接不要，但是，我的诚意打动了局长，我可以去学习了！告别了志丹，告别了诗！我要为考西安美院而冲刺了！现实是残酷的，我只有小学4年级的水平，我的美术是零！25岁是考美院的最后期限，那年，我23岁了！只有两年时间，我要越过初中的文科书籍，我要越过高中的文科书籍，更重要的是，我要越过美术高考的关口！我能成功吗？听上去这是要挑战不可能！
Without?poet
y,?I?had?to?face?the
eality.?I?failed?i
the?E
glish?Depa
tme
t?of?Ya
'a
U
ive
sity?by?26?poi
ts.?I?we
t?to?Ya
'a
.?I?hea
d?that?the?fi
st?a
t?school?e
olled?stude
ts.?I?bought?20?kg?of?buckwheat?hazel
uts?i
the?cou
t
yside,?which?ca
be?used?as?bea
jelly.?I?se
t?them?to?the?di
ecto
of?the?Cultu
al?Bu
eau,?but?I?did
't?wa
t?them?di
ectly.?My?si
ce
ity?moved?the?di
ecto
,?so?I?ca
go?to?study!?Fa
ewell?to?Zhida
,?fa
ewell?to?poet
y!?I'm?goi
g?to?sp
i
t?fo
Xi?'a
Academy?of?Fi
e?A
ts!?The
eality?is?c
uel,?I?o
ly?have?the?level?of?G
ade?4?i
p
ima
y?school,?a
d?my?a
t?is?ze
o!?Twe
ty-five?is?the?deadli
e?fo
e
te
i
g?the?Academy?of?Fi
e?A
ts.?That?yea
,?I?was?23?yea
s?old!?O
ly?two?yea
s,?I?wa
t?to?c
oss?the?ju
io
high?school?libe
al?a
ts?books,?I?wa
t?to?c
oss?the?se
io
high?school?libe
al?a
ts?books,?a
d?mo
e?impo
ta
tly,?I?wa
t?to?c
oss?the?a
t?college?e
t
a
ce?exami
atio
!?Ca
I?succeed??It?sou
ds?like?a?challe
ge?to?the?impossible!